This is the 19th post of a blog by Matt Porubsky called “satisfactual,” which will be updated whenever he damn well pleases, discussing odds and ends about Topeka history and culture, with a little opinion thrown in for good measure.

I know I haven’t posted anything in awhile. Don’t think I haven’t been working on things. I certainly have been. I realized a few weeks ago that I had been neglecting something very important in my life: poetry. Poetry used to be the only kind of writing I did and over the years I have found several other outlets for my creativity. But poetry has always been what I do best, what makes me happiest. The past three weeks I feel like I have been joyously reunited with an old friend.

In 2006, Coal City Press in Lawrence, Kansas, published my first book of poetry, “voyeur poems.” At that time, I had no draw to write journalistically at all and blogs were few and far between. When Leah came into my life, so did a new kind of support for my writing which led to my confidence in a new style of writing. When seveneightfive magazine came around, not only could Leah and I share our writing with fellow Topekans, but I had the opportunity to become poetry editor and share the work of other poets in the community with our readers. This was the beginning of my neglect for poetry, in a way. I was so involved with getting others’ poems out for people to read and writing stories for seveneightfive that my poetry started to disappear from my priority list. Not to mention my other duties with two children, my job with the railroad, the conception, execution and promotion of the documentary film “Porubsky’s – Transcendent Deli,” and, among other things, the arrival of this blog. I had a lot on my list. I still do but I am starting to prioritize a little differently.

Last issue, I handed over the poetry editor position to the capable hands of Dennis Etzel Jr. and assumed an interim managing editor position for a short time. Ande Davis has since returned to the managing editor position so I am now a writer/photographer for seveneightfive. Also, a few weeks ago, GIZMO Pictures and myself completed a final additional scene for the documentary, a hot pickle-eating contest featuring the firefighters of Topeka Fire Station no.3. Even though there is still editing to do, that was the last big piece toward the final cut of the movie. Leah and I finished the design of an international literature journal, Coal City Review, as well. Poetry slipped into the places in my mind and creativity that had previously been occupied by all these things. I have written and edited over a dozen new poems since. Talk about opening the floodgates.

I realized the importance of this poetic overflow on my way to Kansas City to work the other morning. I was heading East on I-70 and there was a storm moving in from the north with the sun rising behind the rolling-thunder clouds. The sun lit the dark clouds electric and they were colored in bloom like a deep space nebula.

My first thought was to grab my phone, take a photo and share it with everyone on Facebook, but I stopped. I know it is not safe to do all that while driving, but that wasn’t the reason. I wanted to keep it for me. I wanted to keep the vision of this sunrise special to me, and me alone. I took a deep breath and watched the rising unfold in Technicolor. I realized how much I had been sharing and how little I was exclusively holding onto and fully appreciating. It was like a moment after writing a poem: that moment where it belongs to me, unedited and original. An honest expression.

I enjoy writing this blog and even more that people gain enjoyment from it. Satisfactual will not end and neither will my involvement with seveneightfive. It will be trimmed down, though. This blog probably won’t happen every week, but it will happen. My main focus, besides finishing some current collaborations I am still working on, will be seeking publication for a completed manuscript of sonnets and to finish writing a third book of poetry. So, if you ever wonder why it has been a couple weeks and why the heck isn’t Matt working on stuff, know that I am. I am working on other things that I will be happy to share with you when it is ready. I hope you all will be there to share it with me when the time comes.

Matt Porubsky is not a licensed therapist, statistician, historian or medical professional. But he is the 2009 Distinguished Kansan of the Year in arts and entertainment. Take that! Most of the time he just makes stuff up. But all of these stories are based on actual events.

[ July 2010 | Matt Porubsky | photos by Kevin Rabas / contributed ]
Share