Prince of Persia: Sands of Time – Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley and Gemma Arterton

This film is based on the popular video game “Prince of Persia.”  Jake Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, a kid from Persia who gets in the good graces of the King and gets adopted and becomes a Prince.  The movie fast forwards to “present time” ( in movie time) where Dastan is an adult now with his two brothers deciding whether or not to attack the holy city of Alamut where they have been told that the city is making weapons for Persia’s enemies.  After the defeat of the city, Dastan fights with a messenger leaving the castle who has a dagger that isn’t like any dagger in the world.  This dagger has the ability to turn back time for a single minute as long as there is sand in it.  He takes the dagger not knowing about its powers and also takes the princess of Alamut as his wife (Arterton).  During the victory celebration, their father is killed by a robe that was offered by Dastan and everyone thinks that he tried to kill his father.  During the rest of the movie, he is trying to show that he’s innocent.  The movie moved very slowwwwww.  I almost fell asleep in the theater and couldn’t stand Jake trying to be Persian with a very bad accent.  I’m not saying its the worst video game-derived movie that has come out, but I am saying that it’s maybe worth a dollar movie or a Red Box/Netflix.

3.5 outta 10 wahoo’s

Splice – Adrian Brody and Sarah Polly

I was able to see this movie earlier in the week during a special premiere in Kansas City before it hit all the theaters today. Two scientist have created two brand new species in the hopes of finding cures for diseases.  When they are told that their creations aren’t producing enough of the enzyme they try to make a new species.  They use the DNA from a wide variety of animals and add human DNA to it.  They harvest the egg in their facility and it finally hatches.  The thing they created looks partially human but has the legs of a wolf and a tail with no arms.  They find out that this new species that they called Dren (“nerd” backwards) has a rapid growth so instead of aging every year, it ages every minute.  They battle with trying to keep it or kill it.  This is where I’m going to stop in the plot.  There were points in this movie where I was laughing out loud when we probably weren’t suppose to, because it was that bad.  I’m glad that I didn’t pay money for this movie because I would have been upset.  The movie was creepy, funny, not scary at all and did I say creepy? I wouldn’t even waste time or money to see this again.

1 outta 10 wahoo’s

[June 2010 | Nick Leach | images courtesy shockya.com and moviecultists.com]